Legacy Finance - the soon after.

It was summer, and I had just made plans with my coworker to a weekend get away at the
Grand Canon. The day before the event, I received a call from my mother. She commanded me to cancel my trip and come home. Pissed as I was, I still canceled the trip and took a $75 dollar cancellation fee. Your mother, my mom refers to herself in third person, has gastric cancer and will die in about less than a year. I jolted from the undulating statement. I was concerned. I was confused. I was not sad.
To understand my disposition, one have to understand what kind of person was my mom. She was a good mother, when we were still poor. I remember when I was young, she spend her days juggling management of our small corner market store and my education. I spend most of my afternoons there in the back of the store reading obsolete beginner English short stories. Again the word mediocrity applies to our family life. As time went on, so did our family wealth. Eventually, we aggregated enough for her to retire early. I was in my first few years of college when this happened. When she stopped working, her personality also changed. She was starting to become more critical. She was critical in the matter that she had provided everything for me and I was a mere public servant. A mediocre man with a mediocre future.
She was a teacher, and she taught me shame. Shame for being a teacher. Shame for I could not be a better son. Shame for not cherishing the things I have. Shame for not being like her friend's son whom making more money. Shame for not showing that I care about her. Shame for not crying my eyes out because she was dying. Shame for the selfish person I was. Shame for who I am.
Throughout the whole ordeal, I dealt with her demise with distance. I emotionally and physically distant myself from her. When she had something to say, I would be far away or aimlessly daydream. She was frail in her room, so I was outside of the house. I was sick at the time, so I was not invited to be in the house due to my contagious condition.
When the sickness took root deeply to her, she was bedridden and anorexic. She died with a glance at me and my immediate family. Funny at this moment of writing, I feel as if I should of said something to her. Yet, I remember I said and thought of nothing. I was emotionally empty. Did I love my mother? who doesn't. However, my love for her is like a fish for its caretaker; Simplistic and quintessential.
Soon after she died, I had to deal with the inheritance. My mother in all her regressing wisdom decided to have the family liquid asset in my father's possession. Though I had power of attorney to all the accounts, I did not know how to manage my family's wealth and neither did my father.